A New Perspective on Life Without Alcohol
What began as a simple decision to avoid alcohol during a pregnancy four years ago has evolved into a personal challenge to see how long I can go without it. This journey has been more than just about abstaining from drinks; it has become a way for me to explore who I am beyond the influence of alcohol.
The question that often comes up is, “Do you feel healthier?” Honestly, not really. I’m not fitter or more active. However, there’s one significant change that I didn’t expect — I’ve come to know myself better than ever before.
Breaking Up with the Bottle
Giving up alcohol was completely out of character for me. I never had a major issue with drinking, but my early career as a journalist in places like Kalgoorlie and Broome made drinking a common social activity. In those communities, alcohol is part of the social fabric.
During the time between having my first and second child, I used to reward myself for tough days by opening a bottle of shiraz. Once it was open, I’d finish it over the week. But after a nine-month break from drinking, I realized I didn’t miss it. That led me to wonder how long this feeling would last.
Making the Decision to Quit
Initially, I felt a bit sheepish when I went to the bar and refused a drink. I worried that my friends might think I was pregnant or trying to conceive. In the early months of being alcohol-free, people would ask if I was “back on the booze yet” or try to convince me to have “just one drink.” Eventually, they lost interest and gave up, which was when I realized that they didn’t really care whether I drank or not because I was still the same person.
Shedding My Skin, Finally
Once the pressure and stigma disappeared, it felt like I had shed a skin and revealed my true self — braver and bolder. I discovered that I’m the same person on the dance floor with a soda as I am at midnight, four wines deep. When it became clear who my real, no-pressure friends were, I could see who I should spend time with.
My social circle changed, and so did my activities. I started going out to see people, and it became less about the place. The fun I have on the dance floor with friends late at night is real and lasting, and I can remember it the next day without needing to check facts in a Sunday debrief session.
I also noticed that people around me were slowly drinking less too. Maybe it was because they had no one to drink with, or maybe they just needed to see someone do it to realize that no one really cares if you’re drinking or not.
The Freedom in Caring Less
This experiment started influencing other areas of my life. Emboldened by my new ability to say no, I cared less about what people thought of me and stopped doing things unless I wanted to. The more this happened, the stronger I felt. It’s a sense of freedom that comes with pushing social boundaries without any consequences.
Don’t get me wrong, I do occasionally miss a red wine, and I have an inkling I’ll pick up a “real glass” again one day. But there’s power in knowing that it’ll be on my terms and on an occasion that I deem worth ending my game for.
What I’ve Learned
Having a drink — any non-alcoholic drink — in a wine glass tricks my brain into thinking I’m doing what everyone else is doing. It also stops people from asking if I “need anything from the bar.”
Volunteering up front that I’m “not drinking right now” for an innocent reason like “playing a game with my willpower” takes the wind out of people who were suspicious about whether I was pregnant or not.
It’s a great time to be alcohol-free: there are heaps of “fake beers” and “fake wines” on the market now that satisfy thirst, even compared with just five years ago when I was first pregnant.
And I’m richer — literally. Soda water with a slice of lemon is often free at the pub, and I’ve saved so much money not buying bottles of wine.
It’s also refreshing to park out the front of a venue in the rain or just drive home when I get bored or tired. I didn’t foresee how nice it would feel to be able to offer friends a lift home.
There’s so much less waiting around: no lining up at the bar or for the toilets.
Not drinking alcohol has been a great conversation starter, and it’s empowering when people say, “Good for you.”
Getting to know the strength of my willpower leads me to wonder what else I’m capable of.
Do you have an experience to add to this story?
