Starting over in a new country is a complex journey that involves more than just moving from one place to another. My family has moved countries twice, and through each relocation, we’ve learned what it truly means to start over. The experience has taught us about resilience, adaptability, and the importance of patience.
Making New Friends: A Surprising Challenge
One of the first things I thought would be difficult was making new friends. However, this turned out to be one of the easier parts of our relocations. When we moved to Switzerland, I worried about loneliness and whether my children would find their place in a new community. So, when we arrived, I tried too hard to make connections. I said yes to everything, introduced myself to everyone, and pushed to form friendships quickly. It felt awkward because I was trying to create closeness before it had a chance to grow naturally.
Eventually, I stepped back — and that’s when the magic happened. Instead of focusing on finding friends, I focused on building a life. I joined writing groups, took classes, found work, and met people through hobbies and interests. Those friendships lasted because they were built on common ground, kindness, and shared experiences. Although we now live in different time zones, some of those people are still close friends today.
The Hidden Stress of Rebuilding Everyday Life Abroad
The hidden stress of rebuilding everyday life abroad is housing. In both Switzerland and the United States, navigating housing and healthcare became unexpectedly stressful parts of settling in.
When we moved to Switzerland, finding an apartment initially seemed manageable. We relied heavily on Google Translate to understand listings and create applications. First, we had to think about which neighborhoods would feel most comfortable for English speakers. And once we started looking more closely, we realized how many small cultural details we hadn’t considered.
For example, we discovered that it’s common for rental apartments in Switzerland not to include light fixtures, so we’d need to purchase and install our own. In-unit washing machines were harder to find than we expected, which became a major consideration for our family because we had two children playing ice hockey (which meant endless amounts of laundry).
Navigating Healthcare Systems: A Different Set of Challenges
When we later moved to the United States, our housing search looked different but carried similar emotional weight. Instead of seeking out English-speaking communities, we were looking for a town that aligned with our values. We wanted strong schools that supported both academics and the arts, as well as access to competitive sports programs for our children.
We eventually found a community that checked those boxes, but it took time. We rented for two years before feeling confident enough to buy a home.
Navigating healthcare was equally challenging in different ways. In Switzerland, the language barrier complicated even straightforward medical appointments. Although we found an excellent pediatrician, my husband and I often avoided scheduling appointments unless absolutely necessary because we worried about misunderstandings. We initially struggled to understand how the insurance and billing systems worked.
The Lesson in Patience and Flexibility
In the United States, the challenge was almost the opposite. There was an overwhelming amount of information available online about doctors and healthcare networks. Every physician seemed to have hundreds of reviews, rankings, and conflicting opinions attached to them. Instead of making decisions easier, the abundance of information often made us feel more uncertain.
Ultimately, the most valuable recommendations came through word of mouth. Conversations with other parents and local families helped us far more than online review platforms ever did.
Relocation taught our family patience. Looking back, the biggest lesson relocation taught us was not to rush anything. It was OK to choose a doctor and later realize they weren’t the right fit, or to rent in a town that didn’t ultimately suit our family. It was OK for some friends to remain acquaintances while other relationships slowly deepened over time.
Creating a Sense of Belonging
We learned to give ourselves grace during the adjustment period instead of expecting immediate certainty. Living abroad also forced us to communicate more openly as a family. When everything around you feels unfamiliar, even small frustrations can feel magnified.
There were moments when homesickness and exhaustion clouded our perspective, making every challenge seem larger than it really was. Over time, we became better at grounding each other and focusing on what was working rather than what felt wrong.
Once we stopped trying to recreate our old lives perfectly, we became more open to appreciating where we were. We’ve now discovered that the ingredients to a successful relocation are patience, humor, flexibility, and teamwork. With those, it’s possible to create a sense of belonging almost anywhere.
