After experiencing a fall that resulted in a concussion, a 31-year-old author found herself at a crossroads. The incident forced her to take a long, hard look at her life and the direction it was heading. In search of clarity and peace, she decided to embark on the Camino pilgrimage in Spain—a journey that would ultimately change her perspective on anxiety, self-discovery, and the importance of taking time for oneself.
The fall occurred in the middle of the night. Darkness enveloped her as she awoke to a ringing sound, followed by a throbbing pain across her head. Blood pooled on the floor, creating an image that felt like a Rorschach test with no clear answers. Confused and disoriented, she struggled to make sense of what had happened. She remembered waking up at 4 a.m., needing to use the bathroom after a heavy meal, which had triggered a colonoscopy earlier that day. Her condition, colitis, required regular check-ups, and this particular incident left her feeling drained and overwhelmed.
Upon visiting the emergency room, she was diagnosed with vasovagal syncope, a condition where the body reacts to stress or pain by causing a sudden drop in heart rate and blood pressure. This reaction, while not uncommon, was something she had never experienced before. The doctor dismissed her concerns about a concussion, claiming she was lucky her nose had broken the fall. But the truth was far more complicated. A subsequent visit confirmed the diagnosis, and the author found herself in a state of physical and mental turmoil.
For the next three months, her life came to a standstill. She was confined to her dark apartment, unable to wear glasses due to her broken nose. The silence around her became overwhelming, and a voice within her began to speak—something she had long ignored. It was a voice of honesty, one she had previously tried to suppress. It reminded her of past moments of realization, such as when she accepted the need for a divorce after her husband returned from military service. That moment had been painful but necessary, leading her to a path of self-discovery.
By the time she turned 25, she had started to rebuild her life. A solo trip to Montreal marked a turning point, and it was during a visit to Paris that she stumbled upon a book called “The Pilgrimage” by Paulo Coelho. The story of his journey along the Camino de Santiago resonated deeply with her, especially given her cultural background as a Pakistani Muslim American. While she had always been skeptical of the concept of pilgrimage, this experience felt different. It welcomed those seeking spiritual growth without requiring religious adherence, and she felt a strong pull toward the idea of walking the Camino.
Six years later, she was no longer the carefree 25-year-old she once was. Life had thrown her into cycles of instability, and she found herself stuck in a job that offered no fulfillment. Yet, the idea of walking the Camino remained a distant dream. It wasn’t until a podcast by Mel Robbins inspired her to take small steps toward her goals that she finally took action. She began writing, gathering stories from her past, and preparing for the journey ahead.
Starting the walk was not easy. It felt like unearthing buried memories and emotions, some of which were painful and difficult to confront. But each step forward brought a sense of clarity and purpose. As she walked the 73 miles over six days, through rain and exhaustion, she found herself facing the childhood she had long suppressed. Memories of a mother who struggled with emotional instability and a father who was often absent filled her thoughts. For years, she had performed a version of herself that pleased others, rather than embracing her true identity.
Walking didn’t fix her, but it gave her the space to stop running. It allowed her to confront the parts of herself she had ignored for so long. The quietness of the Camino provided a rare opportunity for reflection, and she began to write down everything she learned along the way.
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