A Journey of Grief, Choice, and Legacy
Belinda Lawrence, who was 43 years old when she received a shocking diagnosis in December 2023, found herself facing a rare and terminal form of cancer. The news left her feeling devastated and overwhelmed, as she had no prior knowledge of the condition or its severity.
Lawrence recalls that just two weeks before her diagnosis, she had undergone an operation for glue ear, which she had been experiencing since January. It took until November to see an ENT specialist, who decided to install a grommet. During this procedure, the doctor noticed an abnormal growth in her sinuses and took a biopsy.
Two weeks later, Lawrence was urgently called in for further tests. She underwent a CT scan, MRI, and PET scan, all of which confirmed a diagnosis of nasopharyngeal cancer. This type of cancer is extremely rare, and Lawrence had never heard of it before.
“I was completely shocked,” she said. “I was the same age as my older sister was when she was diagnosed with mesothelioma. I had a complete breakdown and am thankful that one of my best friends was with me during that time.”
Despite the emotional turmoil, Lawrence knew one thing for sure: she didn’t want to be placed in an urn. She had always dreamed of being buried in an eco-pod – egg-shaped pods that contain remains and are buried to grow a tree. However, such options were not available in Australia at the time.
“Instead, I started looking into other alternatives,” she said. “I believe it makes more sense to become part of nature’s life cycle. My views on death and funerals aren’t the norm, but I think people need to think about these things earlier in life. Even without my diagnosis, I would have wanted to plan ahead.”
Through her research, Lawrence discovered the Wellington Dam, one of four Living Legacy Forests across the country. The idea was created by Warren Roberts after he lost a friend who was cremated, leaving him without a place to visit and grieve. He felt closer to his friend when walking in nature, which inspired the concept of becoming native trees and creating a beautiful new forest to be remembered in.
Peta Bilston, the chief forest officer at Wellington Dam, shared that close to 1000 families have chosen to plant a tree to be buried with since the forest opened in 2019. Many bring their loved ones to choose the tree, sometimes even planting them so they can watch them grow before passing away.
“It can be incredibly healing to have that security, both for those the tree is for and their families,” she said. “Discussing death is important; it becomes less scary when you do, and it makes you feel less alone when you’re planning your own funeral. It also eases the burden on family members who might otherwise not know what their loved one truly wants.”
Each tree comes with its own plaque and unique number. For Lawrence, now 45, it was crucial that her family understood her wishes.
“I know people don’t like to talk about loved ones dying, but it’s important to plan ahead,” she said. “No one expects to die suddenly, but it happens every day.”
It took some convincing for her family to visit the forest with her, as she couldn’t drive down on her own. However, they had seen something on TV about the different options available and finally agreed to come with her.
“Funnily enough, they liked the forest too and bought the spot next to mine,” she said.
The family planted their trees last winter. “It was beautiful to get to plant the tree my ashes will help grow one day,” Lawrence said. “I’ve been back once to see how well it’s grown, and I’m working on making another trip down when I can.”
