A Family of 50: The Story of Sandra and Tony Dodd
Aussie mum Sandra Dodd was dreading the day the last of her 12 children moved out of home. Despite being pregnant for a combined nine years, changing more than 30,000 nappies and making 26,000 school lunches while her children were growing up, the grandma and now empty-nester, who used to do five loads of washing before she had breakfast, was worried that she wouldn’t know what to do with her “spare” time.
But her 38 grandchildren, aged from 19 to just a few months old, some even living right next door, have more than filled the void. “We bought two sunlounges for the backyard because we thought we’d have lots of time to relax, but we’ve hardly used them!” laughs Sandra Dodd, a before and after school and casual childcare educator.
Love Grows
“We light up when the grandkids come running through the door,” she says, effortlessly rattling off the names and birthdates of every one of them. “I think the more you love, the more love you have to give, it grows with every child.”
At a time when cost-of-living pressures are biting the budget, and Australians are having fewer children – or no children at all – Sandra, 62, and husband Tony, 65, are bucking the trend with their big brood. With the arrival of granddaughter Charlotte earlier this year, they’re a family of 50.
Their daughter Meghan, 34, now has eight children of her own, and son Nathaniel, 40, is fast catching up, with seven, while the others – Justin, 37, Rachelle, 44, Rebecca, 43, Vanessa, 39, Kaitlyn, 35, Gabrielle, 31, Nicholas, 28, and Matthew, 25, all have smaller broods. Newly engaged Liam, 24, and the baby of the family Jorja, 20, are the only exceptions.
Raising a Big Family
Raising a big family is not for the faint-hearted. The Dodds munched through six loaves of bread and nine litres of milk a day, took shifts using the bathroom, with five littlies in the bath at a time, and slept top-to-toe to accommodate everyone. The family car was a 14-seat minibus, which Tony needed an endorsed truck licence to drive, and a routine shopping trip filled two trollies to the brim.
Sandra and Tony worked hard balancing the budget and sacrificed to make ends meet, there were no expensive holidays, haircuts were done at home and there was no such thing as Uber Eats.
“Takeaway was a luxury we couldn’t afford. Very rarely we might have bought $15 worth of chips from the local fish and chip shop, otherwise every meal was made from scratch at home. I made one meal for everyone. If you didn’t like it, bad luck.”
“It’s funny because I don’t remember it being hard, we just did what we had to do every day. The secret is prioritising, working out what’s most important and working backwards, shifting priorities if needed.
“Don’t have grand expectations about where you will live or what car you drive. If you don’t know it, you don’t know that you’re missing out. And be consistent in your decisions – if I said no, Tony said no, too.”
When Jorja moved out, Sandra and Tony downsized to a unit next door, and Megan and her eight moved into the Goulburn Valley, Victoria, family home, so there’s a steady stream of grandkids popping over to “Ma” and “Pa” for a sneaky marshmallow.
The rest of the family live close by, except Nathaniel, who is in Sydney. Sandra and Tony are only too happy to babysit and often help with school pick-ups, kids swimming lessons or sleepovers.
“Sometimes the girls will ring me up and say, ‘Hey Mum, what did you do about this?’ and I’m happy to offer advice if I can, but only if I’m asked. I don’t offer it.”
“It’s wonderful being grandparents because you don’t have the responsibility of the day-to-day life. We get to do the fun stuff and send them home. Although sometimes I pop over next door and hear the noise and think, ‘Were we like that?’” she laughs.
Creating Memories
With a birthday in the family virtually every week, Sandra makes the grandkids a cake and rather than buying toys and expensive gifts they focus on creating memories. For example, once a year they’ll get the whole family together for a celebration day at Luna Park, or camping along the Great Ocean Road.
“Time together rather than toys creates meaningful connection,” adds Tony, now a pathology courier and casual support worker. “Kids have everything today – their toyboxes are full of stuff they don’t even realise is there. The meaning of it is lost.”
These days, Sandra and Tony treat themselves to a holiday every now and then, but both agree it’s the little things – being able to pop out for dinner whenever they like, the hairdresser rather than home haircuts, and being with the family – that are the ultimate luxury for them.
Last Christmas, they hired a local hall at their pretty town Tatura, and invited everyone for lunch. “It was wonderful, everyone cooked and brought something to share so it was easily catered, but our table was really long!” laughs Sandra.
“At one point I stood back and took it all in. The whole family was in one place and I thought to myself, ‘Wow, we created this!’ It was really special,” says Tony.
