A Journey of Heartache and Resilience
Vogue Williams, a well-known presenter, has opened up about her emotional struggles with miscarriage, sharing how her body felt like it had “failed” her during these difficult times. At 40 years old, she has experienced two miscarriages before successfully becoming pregnant with her fourth child. One of these losses was particularly painful, happening just a year ago.
Vogue and her husband, Spencer Matthews, are already the proud parents of three children: Theodore, Otto, and Gigi. They have shared their journey through various challenges, including the heartbreak of losing pregnancies. During an appearance on the Great Company podcast with Jamie Laing, Vogue described the overwhelming feelings that came with her losses.
“I just feel like my whole body has failed me,” she said. “You’re on your own and you keep thinking, ‘Why me? Why me?’”
Researching other women’s experiences with miscarriage helped Vogue find some comfort in her own journey. She realized that many women go through similar situations, which made her feel less alone. “I saw so many other women talk about it and I was like okay, it’s literally every second woman,” she explained.
The Emotional Struggle
Vogue also spoke about the difficulty of dealing with the loss of a pregnancy. She mentioned that even though she had friends who had experienced late miscarriages, she could only imagine how hard that must be. “It must be the most difficult thing in the world,” she said. “So, you just kind of have to move forward.”
In another part of the interview, Vogue shared that she would rather “give birth 10 times” than go through pregnancy if she had a choice. “I look forward to [giving birth], I have to say,” she said. “If I could skip the pregnancy bit, I’d give birth 10 times instead of having to do the pregnancy. Everyone is so nice to you when you’re giving birth.”
The Challenges of Pregnancy
Vogue’s first miscarriage occurred at around four weeks, which was “really upsetting.” However, she and Spencer eventually welcomed their daughter Gigi in 2020. Their journey took another heartbreaking turn last year when they found out that the embryo hadn’t grown after a 12-week scan.
Vogue admitted she felt “embarrassed” and “upset” by the second loss, and she felt like “her body had failed her.” Spencer shared his perspective on their baby news earlier this year, expressing their happiness but also the challenges they faced in getting to where they wanted to be.
“We’re so happy. We feel very… hard this time round to get to where we wanted,” he said. “Definitely more bumps in the road in order to actually get pregnant, but obviously we feel really fortunate anyway to have three kids, but this one’s been harder to get to that, well this bit, the announcing, but also just to actually get to where we wanted to be, has been rough.”
Reflecting on the Past
Vogue then opened up about her first miscarriage, explaining that it happened before she had Gigi. “It was so early on, like so so early on,” she said. “We hadn’t had any scans. We hadn’t had anything like that. I must have been maybe a month if even, and it was just one of those things and it was, it was awful, but it was everything happened quite quickly after it as well.”
She shared that she never really thought about it much after the first loss, as she became pregnant again shortly after. However, she experienced another loss last year. “I was literally about to tell the kids. You could kind of start telling I was three months and I just didn’t go for an early scan. I just never even thought about it because I kind of didn’t want to make a fuss – stupid now!”
Vogue went on to describe her experience at the hospital for the 12-week scan, where she immediately sensed the concern from her doctor. “And basically what had happened was, he had the pregnancy sac. I forget what the whole thing was called, but basically the embryo hadn’t grown, my body still thought it was pregnant.”
She continued, “And usually you just naturally get a miscarriage, but I didn’t. It just kept like it would have eventually happened, but it just didn’t at the time.” The doctor informed her that it wasn’t really a pregnancy and offered her options to move forward. “I was three months along and [the doctor] was just like, ‘I’m really sorry, it’s just, it’s not it’s not really a pregnancy and you’re going to have to get well, there’s a couple of options.’”
Vogue expressed her relief at being able to move forward and start again, even though the experience was incredibly difficult. She felt a mix of emotions, including embarrassment, and struggled with the idea that her body had failed her. “I was really upset and then I felt like ‘oh God I have to now tell everybody who I’ve told’ and I just feel stupid, like my body has kind of failed me kind of thing.”
