A Journey Through Grief and Recovery
Missy Bo Kearns, a 25-year-old international footballer for England and midfielder at Aston Villa, recently shared her harrowing experience of losing her baby and battling sepsis. Her story highlights the emotional and physical challenges she faced, as well as the importance of early medical intervention.
Kearns and her partner, Liam Walsh, who plays for Luton, announced their pregnancy on 1 March. However, just weeks later, they were devastated by the loss of their child. The ordeal took a toll on both of them, with Kearns spending four days in the hospital dealing with sepsis, a life-threatening condition that can be difficult to detect.
The Shock of Loss and Sepsis
Kearns described how she initially thought her symptoms were just a typical part of pregnancy. “I thought it was just like a pregnancy symptom, and the doctor came in and checked my temperature,” she said. “I was 42 degrees, but I was shaking.”
The situation escalated quickly when the doctor insisted she contact her partner, Liam. “I was like, ‘He’s had a night game. He’s still in bed.’ But I rang him, and he came. We went to the hospital, and that’s when we found out straight away that we had lost the baby and that I’d got sepsis.”
Understanding Sepsis
Sepsis is a severe and potentially fatal condition that occurs when the body’s response to an infection causes widespread inflammation and organ damage. Its symptoms can resemble those of the flu or a chest infection, making it challenging to diagnose. For Kearns, the diagnosis came as a shock, especially after experiencing such a sudden and dramatic change in her health.
Gratitude and Reflection
Despite the trauma, Kearns expressed deep gratitude to the club doctor, Jodie Blackadder-Weinstein, for urging her to seek medical attention. “If I was at home that day, I probably would have rung my mum saying, ‘Oh, I feel a bit like flu-ish symptoms,’ and everyone would just say, ‘Have a sleep’ or whatnot.”
She acknowledged that without the doctor’s intervention, she might not have survived. “They probably saved my life because I had sepsis, and while having that, I wasn’t even thinking about the sepsis. It was ‘I’ve lost my child.’”
Coping with Grief
Kearns admitted that the emotional impact of losing her child was profound. “I think people might not realise how much of a toll it actually has on someone,” she said. “It’s a different type of grief. It’s not something I’ve ever experienced before.”
She described her journey as a mix of good and bad days, with moments of sadness and periods of hope. “I’ve been trying to keep myself busy. I wouldn’t say I’m fully coping. Yeah, there are days like today where I feel good.”
Balancing Life and Football
Despite the personal challenges, Kearns remains focused on her career. She has made 11 appearances in the Women’s Super League this season and is determined to make the England squad for the World Cup in Brazil next year. “Football is my happy place, and I’m here now, and I’m excited to be here and keep trying to build and build and get myself right, ready for next season.”
Her experience has also given her a new perspective on life. “I’ve realised, like there’s more to life than football, but now I’m going to enjoy every minute of football like it’s my last because it could have been.”
Moving Forward
Kearns continues to work on her mental and physical recovery, taking time to process her emotions and find balance. “I think keeping myself busy, I think going to watch Liam’s games, has helped. But also, I’ve been trying to go through it a bit more isolated, and have time to myself and to ourselves, like not being around people.”
She acknowledges that the road to healing is ongoing, but she remains hopeful and determined to embrace the future.
