A Journey into the Unknown
Hannah Murray, best known for her role as Gilly in Game of Thrones, has shared a deeply personal story about her experience with a wellness cult. In 2017, she found herself in a situation that led to a severe mental breakdown, which she now reflects on with both caution and insight.
Murray, who is 36 years old, first encountered an “energy healer” through her personal trainer while working on the set of Detroit. This introduction was the beginning of what she describes as her involvement with an alleged cult. She admitted that it’s easy to think such experiences could never happen to someone like her, but she now realizes that no one is immune.
The Initial Steps
“I would’ve assumed I couldn’t, that I was safe. I was well educated, from a middle-class family; everything should have been fine,” she said. However, she acknowledges that making “terrible choices” can lead anyone down unexpected paths. It’s important, she believes, to understand why people are drawn to such groups rather than dismissing them as foolish.
Murray described her first visit to the cult as an experience filled with a strange energy. “My own experience felt highly eroticised, without anything explicitly physical happening,” she explained. She noted that the atmosphere in the room was charged, something she often sees in hierarchical spiritual organizations.
The Turning Point
The presence of a male figure in the group marked a significant shift in the dynamic. “I think there often is in these hierarchical spiritual organisations,” she added. This man, who entered the space with confidence and magnetism, made a joke about sex, which changed the tone of the session entirely.
“[It went from] this quite floaty, quite gentle, wishy-washy energy, it was suddenly, like, ‘Hey, I’m here,’ and, ‘Let’s f–k.’ I think he was doing that deliberately,” she recalled.
Financial and Mental Consequences
Murray spent thousands of dollars on the cult, believing it would bring her wisdom and a sense of specialness. However, this pursuit ultimately led to a psychotic episode. She was admitted to a psychiatric unit and later diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
After her experience, she decided to distance herself from anything related to wellness. “Even the tame stuff can feel quite distressing,” she said. She no longer meditates, visits crystal shops, or practices yoga, as she finds the concepts too overwhelming.
New Beginnings
Murray has since retired from acting and turned her focus to writing. She is currently working on a memoir titled “The Make-Believe: A Memoir of Magic and Madness.” This book chronicles her journey through the cult and the impact it had on her life.
Her previous roles include Cassie Ainsworth on Skins and Gilly on Game of Thrones. Through her writing, she hopes to share her story and offer insights into the dangers of certain spiritual movements.
