The Manosphere and the Rise of Toxic Masculinity
I remember a conversation with a man from Connemara years ago, where the topic turned to his neighbor who was grieving the loss of his wife. The man described his friend as being ‘pathetic’, but in the older sense of the word — meaning he should be pitied in a kind way. This memory resurfaced recently when I watched Louis Theroux’s Netflix documentary on the so-called manosphere.
The documentary is provocative, awful, and mildly terrifying. It explores a strange world inhabited by hyper-masculine young men who seem to long for a return to an era where women knew their place and men knew their worth. As I watched these individuals, I couldn’t help but feel my eyes were on stalks. These young men, often described as “pumped up dingbats,” spend their time on phones and pontificating about life through a lens that is homophobic, misogynistic, and racist.
These men are clearly ‘pathetic’ in the more recent sense — they are annoying, juvenile, and dangerous. As the documentary progressed, it became clear that many of them have deep-seated issues with their parents, sometimes even with their mothers. It wouldn’t take a psychiatrist long to analyze these problems.
Some viewers might even feel a bit of sympathy for them, thinking they are pathetic in the Connemara sense. I felt that way for about three minutes, but as soon as I thought they might see the errors of their ways and find redemption, they started spouting more bile. That’s when I realized — these guys are properly pathetic.
They treat women with disrespect, speak derisively of gay people, and nearly all hold antisemitic views. One particularly notable figure in the documentary is HS Tikky Tokky, whose name alone is ridiculous. He speaks in jumbled thoughts filled with casual cruelty and half-formed logic.
At the end of the documentary, his mother appears, and suddenly the tough guy bravado disappears as she admonishes him for some of the things he said. However, this moment doesn’t last long, and as soon as she leaves, he reverts to his old ways.
Piers Morgan did the TV world a favor when he invited this individual onto his show, Uncensored. The conversation initially seemed okay, but HSTT quickly began to annoy Piers with his drivel. By the end of the interview, HSTT was trying to provoke Piers, but he hadn’t done his homework. Piers told him exactly what he thought before standing up and walking away, saying, “I’ve had enough of this.”
Having hosted chat shows for 20 years, I thought about how many times I wished I could have done the same (though not too often). When I saw Piers do it, I thought, “Fair play,” because that was the right thing to do.
I suspect HSTT’s team was unsure whether they should have booked him, but sometimes villains need to be seen to be believed. By walking away mid-conversation, Piers represented the majority of viewers who, like me, were shouting at the screen to get him off.
He’s a bad piece of work, and after seeing him up close, there was no point indulging him anymore. It was the right thing to do.
The Theroux documentary has sparked a much-needed public debate about the manosphere. Many of us could see it bubbling under the surface years ago, especially in Ireland, where teachers reported that boys in their classes were starting to follow the Tate brothers. Their brand of toxic masculinity was becoming something of an admiration and fascination.
If you’re not familiar with it, think of Tom Selleck in his Eighties heyday — fast cars, bikini-clad women, cigars, and crypto. I thought it was a weird joke when I first saw these guys, but they’ve tapped into a zeitgeist centered around modern young men who feel dispossessed, emasculated, and reduced by society.
This ideology then conflates with right-wing dogma, which is where the racism comes in, and you can add a splash of MAGA too — as elements of that movement are into all of the above.
It’s an aspirational thing for some boys and men who want to buff up, make money, and get the girl, but in a menacingly macho manner that most of us thought was buried with O’Leary. Well, it’s not, and we need to watch out for it as it’s a contagion.
If I had sons, I’d sit down with them this evening to watch the documentary and discuss it afterward. If I were a teacher, I’d make it required viewing for pupils, male and female. The discussions would be fascinating and important.
If you’re none of the above, I urge you to look at it just to see what’s happening in the world, often in the shadows but increasingly, and with no apologies, strutting into the light.
