Understanding School Anxiety in Children
School anxiety can manifest in various unexpected ways, from friendship dramas to toilet worries. For many parents, it’s crucial to recognize that this form of anxiety doesn’t always announce itself clearly. It might appear as a stomach ache on the morning run, sudden tears at drop-off, or a child who seems fine all day but unravels at home. This is especially true for younger children who may not have the language to express their feelings, so they show them through behavior.
Addressing Friendship Worries
Friendships are often one of the biggest sources of school anxiety. Children might feel left out, unsure of who to play with, or struggle with the ups and downs of the playground. These situations can feel enormous to a child, even if they seem small to adults. Keeping conversations open and low-pressure, and practicing social scenarios at home, can help kids feel more equipped without adding pressure.
Managing Learning Overwhelm
Even early classroom learning can trigger anxiety if a child is worried about getting things wrong. This might show up as avoidance, frustration, or a drop in confidence. Reframing things around effort rather than outcome, and breaking tasks into smaller steps, can help take the pressure off. Staying connected with teachers also ensures support is consistent across home and school.
Teaching Kids to Ask for Help
One of the most important skills children can build is asking for help. Whether it’s not understanding work or feeling overwhelmed, many kids don’t instinctively speak up. Normalising simple phrases like “I need help” or “I don’t get this” at home can make a big difference in how confidently they navigate school challenges.
The Anxiety No One Talks About – School Toilets
Some of the most overlooked school anxieties are related to using the toilet at school. Recent research shows that nearly half of Aussie kids aged 3–8 are holding their poo at school due to stress and hesitancy around public toilets. This can add another layer of anxiety for young children already navigating big school transitions.
To help normalise the conversation, Kleenex has partnered with author and mum of two Jessica Rowe to create a children’s book, I Can’t Wait! My First School Poo. The book is designed to gently open up conversations about school toilet worries before children start school.
As Jessica explains, “Starting school can be an overwhelming time for parents and their kids. There’s a lot to get your head around, including using the toilet at school!” She adds: “Like a lot of kids, I don’t think I did a poo at school for most of the time I was there! Now, I think laughter can help with honest conversations to help our kids realise we all do it, and that it’s just a part of our everyday lives.”
The resource, developed in partnership with parenting expert Genevieve Muir, will be available for free across 120 early education centres, libraries and allied health professionals nationally.
When to Seek Help
Supporting a child with school anxiety isn’t about removing every worry, it’s about helping them feel seen, supported, and able to work through what comes up. Whether it’s friendship challenges, learning pressure, or those quieter everyday worries, small, steady conversations at home can make a big difference to how confidently they approach school.
If anxiety is ongoing or starting to impact daily life, it may be time to seek extra support. That could mean speaking with your child’s teacher or school wellbeing team, checking in with your GP or a child psychologist, or exploring parenting support services in your area.
The earlier support is put in place, the more confidently children can learn to manage their feelings and navigate school life.
