Understanding School Anxiety in Children
School anxiety can manifest in various unexpected ways, from friendship dramas to toilet worries. For many parents, it’s crucial to recognize that this form of anxiety doesn’t always announce itself clearly. It might appear as a stomach ache on the morning run, sudden tears at drop-off, or a child who seems fine all day but unravels at home.
For young children, especially in the early school years, they often lack the language to express their feelings. Instead, they show their anxiety through behavior. Recognizing and addressing these signs is an essential step in helping your child navigate the challenges of school life.
Friendship Worries and Social Challenges
Friendships are one of the most significant drivers of school anxiety. Whether it’s feeling left out, not knowing who to play with, or dealing with playground ups and downs, these experiences can feel enormous to a child. What may seem small to adults can have a major impact on a child’s emotional well-being.
Creating an open and low-pressure environment for conversations about friendships can help kids feel more equipped to handle social situations without adding pressure. Practicing social scenarios at home can also be beneficial in building confidence and reducing anxiety.
Learning Overwhelm and Academic Pressure
Even early classroom learning can trigger anxiety if a child is worried about getting things wrong. This might show up as avoidance, frustration, or a drop in confidence. Reframing tasks around effort rather than outcome and breaking them into smaller steps can help reduce the pressure on children.
Staying connected with teachers ensures that support is consistent across both home and school environments. This partnership can make a significant difference in how children approach academic challenges.
Teaching Children to Ask for Help
One of the most important skills children can develop is the ability to ask for help. Whether it’s not understanding work or feeling overwhelmed, many kids don’t instinctively speak up. Normalizing simple phrases like “I need help” or “I don’t get this” at home can make a big difference in how confidently they navigate school challenges.
This skill is vital for their overall development and can help them build resilience and self-advocacy.
The Anxiety No One Talks About: School Toilets
Some of the most overlooked forms of school anxiety are related to using the toilet at school. Recent research from Kleenex reveals that nearly half of Australian kids (44%) aged 3–8 are “holding their poo” at school, driven by stress (25%) and hesitancy (24%) around using public toilets.
This issue can add another layer of anxiety for young children already navigating the big transition of starting school. To help normalize the conversation, Kleenex has partnered with author and mum of two Jessica Rowe to create a children’s book, I Can’t Wait! My First School Poo. The book is designed to gently open up conversations about school toilet worries before children start school.
As Jessica explains, “Starting school can be an overwhelming time for parents and their kids. There’s a lot to get your head around, including using the toilet at school!” She adds: “Like a lot of kids, I don’t think I did a poo at school for most of the time I was there! Now, I think laughter can help with honest conversations to help our kids realise we all do it, and that it’s just a part of our everyday lives.”
The resource, developed in partnership with parenting expert Genevieve Muir, will be available for free across 120 early education centres, libraries and allied health professionals nationally.
When to Seek Help
Supporting a child with school anxiety isn’t about removing every worry, it’s about helping them feel seen, supported, and able to work through what comes up. Whether it’s friendship challenges, learning pressure, or those quieter everyday worries, small, steady conversations at home can make a big difference to how confidently they approach school.
If anxiety is ongoing or starting to impact daily life, it may be time to seek extra support. That could mean speaking with your child’s teacher or school wellbeing team, checking in with your GP or a child psychologist, or exploring parenting support services in your area.
The earlier support is put in place, the more confidently children can learn to manage their feelings and navigate school life.
