A Star’s Journey Through a Wellness Cult
Hannah Murray, known for her role as Gilly in the hit HBO series Game of Thrones, has opened up about her time spent in a ‘welliness cult’ that led to a significant mental health crisis. In an exclusive interview with The i Newspaper, the 36-year-old actress shared shocking details of her experience, which she has chronicled in her upcoming memoir titled The Make-Believe: A Memoir of Magic and Madness.
Murray revealed that she became so entranced by the cult that she engaged in bizarre rituals, including drinking her own urine and acquiring a wand. She described how the cult was introduced to her through an energy healer named Grace, whom she met via her personal trainer while filming the 2017 movie Detroit. This led to her being lured into expensive classes and therapies.
After suffering a psychotic break, Murray managed to escape the leader of the cult, who she claimed made her fear the organization was “a sex cult.” However, she has since decided to avoid therapy, stating that “Wellness culture is causing things it’s meant to cure.”
Murray has spoken extensively about her experiences within the cult, where she was drawn in by discussions on shamanic and Kabbalistic rituals, salt baths, magic circles, and the concept of higher selves. Her latest interview highlights the magical aspects of the courses, revealing that members were given wands—pieces of dark wood with a clear quartz crystal on one end—and told they were on their way to becoming magicians.
She described the cult leader, whom she referred to as Steve, as a figure akin to a magician in her eyes: “He is a magician. He is my King. My God. God the father. He is my father. And he is my great, great, great, great love.”
Murray also mentioned that she had intense feelings towards Steve, saying, “I wanted to fk Steve, more than I had ever wanted to fk anyone,” before revealing she heard his voice in her head.
During her time in the cult, Murray was locked in a psychiatric ward, where she believed she was Jesus and had died and been reborn. She refused to eat and would urinate in a cup and drink her urine. On her beliefs, she said, “I am a ritual master. And this, drinking my own urine, is a powerful ritual. This is all I need now to survive.”
Things began to come into focus for Murray when during a course at a London hotel, she recalled her behavior becoming more manic and erratic. She remembered experiencing pain in her head, feeling like she was “giving birth through my skull.” She went to a bathroom stall and was soon surrounded by other members who chanted at her, saying, “Be gone, evil spirit in Hannah.”
Despite what she was going through, Murray admitted a part of her knew it was “f***ing hilarious.”
A friend eventually called for help, and Murray was admitted into a hospital for 28 days under the Mental Health Act. She received a bipolar disorder diagnosis, which she found to be a “relief.”
Since escaping the cult, Murray admits she has seen that therapy is not always beneficial. When asked if she is still in therapy, she said, “No. I think therapy can sometimes be positioned as that kind of panacea as well. A lot of the things that feel helpful to me are things that don’t rely on another person’s guidance or wisdom… Things that keep me stable are things like exercise, going for a walk, cooking. Wellness culture might be causing some of the problems it claims to be able to cure.”
