Gossip has a unique way of creating excitement – a quick thrill shared among friends, family or colleagues. It often starts with a friend pausing in conversation and asking, “Can I just say something, cone of silence?” The implication is clear: a good gossip session is about to begin.
In today’s world, our fascination with gossip is more than just idle chatter. It fuels an entire tabloid industry and has given rise to the celebrity industrial complex, where news is created by Instagram accounts that thrive on hearsay and podcasts like Normal Gossip, which take everyday pieces of gossip from listeners and dissect them for a global audience.
According to Dr Marlee Bower, this obsession with gossip stems from its deep roots in human social life. “Humans are inherently social creatures, and much of our survival historically depended on understanding relationships, alliances, trustworthiness and group dynamics,” she explains.
Professor Jolanda Jetten, head of the School of Psychology at the University of Queensland, adds that gossip plays a crucial role in establishing moral codes and boundaries. “We learn what is right and wrong, what is normative in society, and what we should do by talking to others and trying to understand where the boundaries lie,” she says. “That is when we often gossip – it helps us figure out what we should do and what we should not.”
“It really helps you navigate the social world.”
In 2017, Jetten and Dr Kim Peters conducted a study published in Psychological Science that explored how gossip relates to deviant behaviors. They paired random individuals and showed some of them a video of a person littering. Those who saw the video were more likely to start gossiping about it with their partner, reinforcing their understanding of social norms and indirectly strengthening their social bonds.
“Gossip is a great way to entertain one another, to learn about what people are up to, and to understand how groups evaluate the actions of others,” says Peters, a professor in management at the University of Exeter Business School. “It helps us know what we should do and what we should not.”
Is there such a thing as ‘good’ and ‘bad’ gossip?
Typically, when we talk about gossip, it’s framed negatively, often referring to conversations that focus on speculation about someone’s personal life. However, not all gossip is negative, and it can’t always be neatly categorized as “good” or “bad.” Its impact depends heavily on context.
“Research increasingly shows that gossip isn’t a single behavior; its effects depend on tone, intent and social context,” says Bower.
When studying gossip, researchers classify it into three main categories: positive, neutral and negative.
“Positive gossip might involve praising someone’s generosity, competence or achievements, which can strengthen trust, belonging and social cohesion within groups,” explains Bower. “Negative gossip, on the other hand, might involve critical talk about another person that can damage reputations and undermine trust.”
The audience we share with determines what we discuss and the risks involved, says Peters. “When gossiping with acquaintances or strangers, it’s best to keep things light, focusing on entertainment and positivity. When talking to close friends, there is more room to share negative or ‘bitchy’ gossip without worrying about their opinion of you. For the rest of the time, it’s better to share information that your audience would find relevant, like work-related behaviors with colleagues.”
Are there benefits to gossiping?
Although research into the exact health benefits of gossip is still in early stages, a 2023 study found that gossiping can lower cortisol (the stress hormone) for people who have a high tendency to gossip. Another 2017 study, though small in sample size, found that it increased oxytocin, suggesting that gossip can enhance feelings of closeness.
Beyond these findings, there are many social, emotional and mental benefits to gossiping, especially when the content is neutral or positive. Positive or affiliative gossip can promote social bonding, emotional connection and feelings of inclusion and belonging, which are essential for mental well-being, says Bower.
When we gossip, we build meaningful relationships. “Gossip can be a quick way to create intimacy and connection,” she explains. “Sharing social information can build trust, mutual understanding and a sense of closeness between people when done constructively.”
It’s not just about the content but also the comfort level in sharing it. “When I decide to gossip with you, I send signals that I trust you with information I don’t want to say publicly,” says Jetten. “It tells me something about my intention for you or where you stand. I trust you, I want to be close to you, and I value your opinion on what someone else has done.”
“I signal that I want to be closer, and that can be very pleasant.”
Peters adds that gossip that builds bonds, helps us understand what people in our lives are doing, and keeps groups functional — like gossip that reinforces positive norms and detects and controls cheats — can improve our health.
When should we avoid gossiping?
If you find yourself questioning whether you should share certain information, it’s a sign to pause before speaking. “Gossip becomes negative when it is overtly and repeatedly mean-spirited and harms someone’s reputation unnecessarily,” says Jetten.
Peters offers a simple rule to follow when determining if your gossip is appropriate: “Keep in mind what the audience is interested in; avoid overly negative gossip outside of your closest relationships; tell entertaining stories. Share gossip, but wisely.”
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